Are you feeling doubtful when faced with a new task at work? Or perhaps you’re questioning your worthiness for a promotion or, if you are a student, fearing a major failure in your exams? Maybe you even feel undeserving of a loving relationship with a man who is respecting you, because you are not confident enough, that you are worthy of it?
Imagine this: You understand your worth and recognize that you deserve everything life has to offer. You are deeply confident in knowing that you are, indeed, worthy of that promotion or relationship. I understand these feelings well. I used to struggle with confidence, but after dedicating years to transforming my mindset, I’ve become the confident woman I am today. In this post, I’m sharing the five self-love habits that have empowered me and can help you become your most confident self.
In today’s fast-paced world, where we often focus on external achievements and meeting others’ expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important relationship we have—the one with ourselves. Building self-confidence and practicing self-love isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a journey, a practice, and a daily commitment to choosing yourself, showing up for yourself, and believing in your worth.
1. Have A Positive Self-Talk
Admit it, whenever you try something new—whether it’s a dance class or preparing a presentation for your classmates or colleagues—there’s always that little nagging voice in your head. The one that whispers, “You won’t make it. You’ll definitely mess up. Your voice sounds odd. Everyone’s staring at you because you’re awkward. Someone else is doing it way better than you.”
Let me reassure you: absolutely everyone has that little, negative, annoying voice in their heads—even successful millionaires. Never think, “I’m different from those successful people; I’m worse. They don’t have this kind of self-doubt because they’ve achieved so much.” That’s simply not true. We all have that persistent, nagging voice in our minds.
But the difference is that successful people are self-aware and have trained their minds to ignore that negative voice and replace it with positive self-talk. And guess what happens? Once they break that habit and start telling themselves they are successful, reality begins to follow. Why? Because when you’re confident in something—like being a good dancer—you’ll put more effort into it, give it your all, and that’s where the shift happens. People notice, they treat you differently, and you start seeing proof that you’re actually good. This breaks the cycle of negative thinking leading to negative outcomes, and flips it to positive thinking leading to positive results.
A really great book, that dives deeper into this is the untethered soul – the journey beyond yourself.
That’s why positive self-talk and self-awareness are so crucial. At the end of the day, we are the ones living with ourselves, so it’s essential to create an inner environment that is positive, uplifting, supportive, and healthy. By nurturing this mindset, we set ourselves up for growth and success, ensuring that we are our own best ally.
So how can you break free from or improve this negative thought pattern?
Start by asking yourself better, more empowering questions. For instance, if you catch yourself thinking negatively, try shifting your mindset by asking:
- Why is this happening to me?
- Why am I so bad at (…) ?
- Why does my life suck, while (…) person has it all?
- Why don’t good things happen to me?
When you ask your brain a question, it will always try to find an answer. It’s incredibly smart that way! So, why not use this to your advantage? Instead of asking negative or self-defeating questions, replace them with something more positive and constructive:
- What can I do right now, that would make my life better?
- What are 3 things I can do, to improve this situation?
- What is the next best step?
- What can I do right now, to improve my income?
- What can I do right now, to improve my relationship?
- What is the one thing I can do today, that would make me feel happy and joyous?
And stick with that. Pay attention to the answers your brain gives you. It just takes a bit of awareness and patience to catch yourself in those negative thought patterns and replace them with something more uplifting and positive.
For example, if you’re stuck in a loop of thinking you did something wrong or worrying about how you look, the key is becoming aware of that repetitive thought. Once you notice it, you can break the cycle! Replace that negative thought with a more positive and empowering one.
Another good book for this example is Breaking the habit of being yourself.
It takes practice and patience to break free from negative thought patterns, but it’s so worth it.
Here’s another example: What do you say to yourself when you step out of the shower and look in the mirror, completely nude? Do you catch yourself thinking, “Ugh, my chubby legs,” or “My tummy’s too big,” or “My arms look flabby”? How do you talk about your body in those moments?
We all have parts of ourselves that we struggle to love, and that’s okay—it’s part of being human. But being overly critical of our bodies serves no real purpose. Our bodies are truly incredible. They’re literally the vessels that carry us through this journey on Earth, and it’s important to see them as more than just a reflection of aesthetics.
If you find yourself criticizing a part of your body when you look in the mirror, immediately stop yourself. Instead of saying something negative like:
- my chubby legs
- my big tummy
- my saggy boobs
- my big arms
- …
Replace it with a word “HUMAN“:
- my human legs
- my human tummy
- my human boobs
- my human arms
- …
That way, you neutralize the adjectives and labels you might attach to your body parts, whether good or bad. While replacing negative thoughts with positive words like “beautiful” or “amazing” is helpful, it can be challenging to do so in the heat of the moment. By simply acknowledging your body as part of your human experience, you remove the pressure to judge it and instead foster a more accepting and balanced perspective.
2. Keep The Promises That You Made To Yourself
One of the most important lessons I learned a few years ago, and one that has stayed with me ever since, is the importance of keeping the promises you make to yourself.
When you consistently follow through on the commitments you make – no matter how small – you build a sense of trust and reliability within yourself. It’s a powerful way to show that you can count on you, which, in turn, boosts your self-confidence. What many people don’t realize is that confidence isn’t about seeking approval or validation from others. It’s not about how the world sees you – it’s about how you see yourself.
Self-confidence is deeply intertwined with self-love. It’s about nurturing a relationship of trust between you and your own inner self. When you keep your promises, you reinforce that trust, and over time, this becomes the foundation of true self-love.
In our everyday lives, we have countless responsibilities – whether it’s attending classes or lectures as a student, taking care of children as a parent, or meeting deadlines and expectations in your career. We often show up for others, but it’s just as important to show up for yourself.
Just as you would schedule an appointment with a friend, or make time for a meeting with your boss, make a habit of scheduling time for yourself. Whether it’s a workout, a weekly massage, or a simple walk in the park—put it in your calendar as a non-negotiable commitment.
By honoring these commitments to yourself, you’re reinforcing your self-confidence. It’s a powerful reminder that you can count on yourself, that you can be there for yourself – and that’s everything when it comes to building self-trust and inner strength.
You also need to genuinely like who you are and engage in activities that make you feel happy and proud. At the end of each day, it’s important to go to bed with a clean and pure heart, knowing that you lived according to your best abilities and upheld the values that matter to you.
Even if there are moments where you didn’t quite meet your own standards or did something you’re not proud of, the key is to acknowledge it. Reflect on what happened, identify areas for improvement, and make small adjustments for tomorrow. Growth often comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself. Embrace these opportunities to evolve and become a better version of yourself.
There’s a powerful saying: “You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.“ This mindset is key when it comes to achieving success and building a strong, positive relationship with yourself. It’s easy to fall into autopilot mode, taking the backseat in your own life, avoiding challenges, and staying within your comfort zone. In the short term, it may feel safe and familiar, but over time, this comfort slowly chips away at your soul.
Years can pass by, and the dissatisfaction or unfulfilled potential grows deeper, leaving you with a sense of regret. That’s why it’s essential to break free from this pattern. We need to actively choose the better path, one where we push ourselves, embrace discomfort, and grow beyond our current limitations.
3. Keep Learning New Things.
The third thing I want to talk about, which I also find so so helpful, is to keep learning new things. The saying that knowledge is power is so true on so many levels. For me, it’s a real confidence booster when I learn about something new and I educate myself further on something that I find interesting.
It’s so empowering and fulfilling to learn more about life, our bodies, our planet. And I feel like when we make a conscious effort to keep learning and keep educating ourselves, it just does something to our brain, like it keeps us sharper, younger, more open minded, more compassionate. I love to read books. I also love to listen to books on audible. I love podcasts, and, of course, YouTube videos.
The third thing I want to mention, which I find incredibly helpful, is the importance of continuously learning new things. The saying “knowledge is power” holds true on so many levels. For me, it’s a huge confidence booster when I dive into a new subject and educate myself on something I find intriguing or valuable. Whether it’s learning about nutrition, history, or a new skill, it always leaves me feeling more empowered and inspired.
There’s something deeply fulfilling about expanding your knowledge. Whether it’s learning more about life, our bodies, our planet, or even just a hobby you enjoy, each bit of information enriches you. It’s like exercise for the brain – keeping it sharper, more agile, and even helping you stay youthful. When we make a conscious effort to continue learning, it has a great effect on our overall mindset. We become more open-minded, more compassionate, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with grace.
Reading books is one of my favorite ways to learn, but it’s not the only avenue. I also love listening to audiobooks on Audible, podcasts, and watching YouTube videos. Each of those platforms offers something different, and the variety helps me stay engaged and excited about learning!
Beyond just gaining knowledge, continuous learning can also inspire creativity. When we feed our minds, we can see the world from new perspectives, sparking fresh ideas and innovative solutions to problems. And let’s not forget the sense of victory that comes from learning something new – it definitely builds confidence and reinforces the belief that we can tackle anything we set our minds to. I truly believe that! Ultimately, learning not only enriches our understanding but also deepens our connection to the world around us.
4. Take Care Of Yourself
The next topic I want to mention when it comes to self-confidence is taking care of yourself and recognizing how you feel when you put love and effort into your workouts, how you dress, how you treat your body, and the types of food you eat. It also includes how you speak to yourself, as we discussed earlier. Even the small things, like doing your nails or styling your hair (or even choosing not to), can have a big impact on your energy and mood. Sometimes, the simplest acts of self-care can make you feel really good.
Take time to reflect on your “2.0” self – your higher self. Who is that version of you? How do they show up in life? How do they carry themselves, and how do they handle certain situations? When you’re mindful of this, you can pause and ask, “How would my higher self approach this?” instead of automatically responding without awareness. When we are faced with a certain situation in life, we always have a choice on how we react. And there are multiple ways that we can choose to react with and each of them will likely have a very different outcome.
Think about any recent situation you’ve had. For example, imagine you had an hour of free time. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, you chose to go to the gym. In that moment, you were faced with a choice – relax at home or take care of your health. By choosing the gym, you prioritized your well-being. Now, if you consistently make this decision over the course of months or years, your life will look completely different compared to if you had chosen to stay on the couch. Your body will likely become more toned, slim, and healthy. You’ll feel proud of yourself, and that confidence will shine through in how you carry yourself. You’ll likely be happier and more confident because of this consistent, mindful decision-making. We always have a choice, and being aware of that can lead to dramatically different outcomes.
Treat yourself with the same love, care, and compassion you would give to someone you truly care about. Imagine you’re responsible for someone else’s well-being- how would you talk to them? How would you care for them? Apply that same level of attention to yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
5. Volunteer Or Do Something For Someone Else
The last thing I want to touch on when it comes to boosting your self-confidence and self-worth is doing something good for someone else. Shifting the focus away from yourself and onto another person can be incredibly powerful. There’s always an opportunity to help, whether it’s one individual or a group. We all have unique talents, qualities, and abilities that make us special, and these can be used to make a positive impact in the world.
For me, connecting with you all, is something that truly lights me up. It is not my main job, but I feel much more fulfillment in writing about lifestyle, mindset and health, than the tasks I do in my corporate job. It fills me with happiness and gratitude. But even if you don’t have such a platform, there are countless ways to make a difference in your daily life – whether it’s for family, friends, or even a stranger. Small acts of kindness can have a huge impact, not just on others but on yourself as well.
When we tap into our unique abilities to help others, it resonates deeply within us. It’s almost a spiritual experience, something that lights up your soul. It makes you feel happy, fulfilled, and confident on a very deep level. So, reach out to someone – call them, offer to help, or just see how you can be of service. That act of kindness can change your day, and theirs, for the better.
Conclusion
Building self-confidence and embracing self-love is a journey that transforms not just how you view yourself, but how you navigate the world. By integrating these self-love habits into your daily life – keeping promises to yourself, nurturing your physical and emotional well-being, setting boundaries, engaging in continuous learning, and contributing to others – you pave the way for a more fulfilled and empowered life.
Remember, confidence is not a destination but a continuous practice. Each small step you take, each habit you cultivate, contributes to a more resilient and assured you. Embrace your worth, honor your efforts, and recognize that every challenge and triumph is part of your unique path. As you grow in self-love and confidence, you’ll not only enhance your own life but also inspire those around you.
So, start today, take these habits to heart, and watch as your self-confidence blossoms, bringing you closer to the life you envision and the person you aspire to be.