“If you want something, you need to deserve it first. The world is not yet such a silly place to reward a bunch of undeserving people.”
I’m going to share my brutally honest advice that took me from feeling insecure and like I didn’t belong in business or leadership as a woman to becoming completely confident and a high-performing entrepreneur.
I have been overlooked and underestimated for years, but today, I’m working at one of the biggest insurance companies in a high-paying job. And I’ve achieved all of this by the age of 30.
So here are my six truths that I genuinely believe will help you succeed as a badass woman in business or any professional setting.
Advice #1: Learn How To Negotiate
The first essential piece of advice is learning how to negotiate. Negotiation is not about who is yelling the loudest. It’s about knowing your angle and owning your power.
When I was first starting my career, I was so nervous whenever there was a conference room meeting and we had to introduce ourselves. I’d think, I don’t have the credentials to be here. I’m uncomfortable. It’s going to be my turn, and I’m going to say something silly or stupid.
And then one particular day, we were going around the table, and I realized that everyone was older than me, more experienced than me, and they were all men. As it got closer to my turn, I had this moment where I thought—wait. Instead of freaking out, what if this is actually my angle? What makes me different in this room is the fact that I’m a woman, I’m in a younger demographic, and that is exactly why my perspective matters.
So instead of seeing myself as just some small, little woman in the room, I stepped up and said, This is who I am. This is what I’m great at. It didn’t matter that I was younger—in fact, it was a good thing, because I had a fresh perspective.
And that’s invaluable. Because let’s be real—all of them were dudes. As a woman, with natural empathy, I could understand customer problems in a way they couldn’t. I could connect with people differently. And that’s powerful, especially when you truly understand what you and your organization bring to the table in a negotiation.
That’s your angle. But don’t twist it into thinking, Oh, I have to be soft, so I can’t push for what I want in this sales process. No—the reason someone should do business with you is because you’re a woman.
It’s a huge advantage, and once you start using it, instead of seeing it as something that holds you back, everything changes.
Advice #2: Your Network is Your Net worth
The second essential piece of advice is all about who you surround yourself with. We’ve all heard the saying, your network is your net worth. But the real question is—who are you actually networking with?
If you’re only networking with people who are in the exact same position as you, sure, they might be great acquaintances, but they’re not going to help you move forward. Why? Because they’re struggling with the same things you are.
So, is it bullshit when someone says, Your network is your net worth? Well… it is if you’re networking with the wrong people. I’ve found that when women lose their confidence, it’s often because they’re surrounded by other people who also lack confidence.
When you’re around people who are confident and believe in themselves, you start to realize that you can believe in yourself too. One of the biggest mistakes I see women make is joining networking events, thinking that just showing up is enough.
Here’s the problem—you’re probably networking with people who are in the exact same place as you. And while that’s fine for making friends, those aren’t the people who are going to help you level up.
If you want to build confidence, you need to surround yourself with people who are already doing bigger things. And the key? Learning how to ask the right questions. One of the best questions you can ask—especially in business—is: How big is your business?
When someone tells you they’re an entrepreneur, that’s awesome—you should acknowledge them. But there’s a huge difference between talking to an entrepreneur making $250K a year and one making $250 million a year.
If you’re not qualifying who you surround yourself with, you might end up with a network that keeps you stuck at the same level. This applies to so many areas of life, including relationships.
I’ll never forget when someone gave me a full breakdown on how to plan the perfect wedding—every little detail to make the day flawless. Then, 45 minutes in, I realized… they were divorced. And I had to stop and think—is the goal to have a dream wedding, or a dream marriage?
So I literally took everything this person said… and did the opposite. Because the goal wasn’t just to plan a wedding—it was to build a marriage.
When it comes to building relationships with people who can actually impact your life in a positive way, you need to look at their results. If they haven’t achieved the kind of success you want, then why would you take their advice? Instead, seek out people who have those results and spend your time learning from them.
Advice #3: Master Your Productivity
You have to master your routine, which starts with being productive. As women, we often try to get value out of everything and end up trying to do all the things. But here’s the truth: productivity is not about doing more—it’s about accomplishing what truly matters.
The quickest way to become more productive is to identify what you need to stop doing. What you say no to is just as important as what you say yes to. I’ll be honest—saying no can be tough for women, and I’ve struggled with it myself. If a friend wanted to grab dinner, I’d say yes. If a family member asked me to join a family activity, I’d agree.
But today, I focus on what I need to produce. What is driving my career forward? That’s what defines my productivity. Just last weekend, I was supposed to go to a football game with my husband and friends. But then I realized I had annual planning, strategy sessions, approvals, and content to create—all of which were way more important. So, I decided to stay in and work on what would truly move me closer to my goals.
Mastering your routine is all about knowing what’s worth your time and energy, and understanding that sometimes saying no is the most productive thing you can do.
So, I just said no, I’m not going to that game. I understand that there were clients there, and even a few family members, so it could have been a good opportunity for networking and meeting people. But honestly, it wasn’t the most important thing in that moment.
My husband totally understood because he gets that my sense of accomplishment and my ability to reach my goals is tied to my ability to focus on what truly matters to me. That night, I went to bed at 9:30 feeling so productive because I’d done exactly what needed to be done.
Here’s the thing: by saying no, you actually get to do more and feel better about yourself. If I’d gone to that game, I wouldn’t have felt great about myself afterward. It’s all about making the choice, over and over again, to prioritize the things that matter most—because those are the things that truly move you forward.
Advice #4: You Won’t Have A Work-Life Balance For A While
The fourth piece of advice, and this might be a bit controversial, is to ignore this idea of work-life balance. Work-life balance is great if your goal is to just have balance, but not if your goal is to be rich and successful. Honestly, work-life balance is just another way of telling women that we can’t have it all. And I refuse to accept that idea.
I’m not saying that you’ll never achieve balance, but if you want to be successful, you’ll need to go through a “hustle phase.” Look around—every successful person talks about it. Your ability to strategically choose the tasks that are most important to getting you to your ultimate goal will determine how long this hustle phase lasts. It could be 5 years, it could be 10 years—it’s up to you. But know that it’s part of the game.
You can have the job you want, the family you want, the career you desire—you can have all of it. But if you want certain things, there are trade-offs. If you want financial success, you’re going to have to work your ass off.
So this idea of wanting balance, this elusive target that people seem to chase, really isn’t the goal of our lives—and honestly, it seems a bit silly. One thing I struggle with is how much I love the holidays. I’m the biggest fan of sitting at home with my little Santa cup, watching a Christmas movie by the fire with my Christmas tree lit up. It’s the perfect cozy moment.
But as soon as I start feeling the temptation to just indulge in that, I refocus and push myself to get out of the house as quickly as possible. Now, this might not be your thing—you might want to fully enjoy all those holiday vibes. But what I’ve realized is that I’m useless to everyone if I just give in to that temptation.
I’m not making an impact on my future. I’m not making an impact on the people who depend on me. I have to go produce something. Because honestly, nothing comes from me just being happy and excited to drink hot cocoa, as nice as that sounds.
So yes, you do have to make trade-offs. What’s important to you? Is success important to you? If it is—and I believe it should be, or you wouldn’t be reading this post—then you have to actually say, I’m not going to do these things because it’s okay that I don’t need to have balance right now.
One of my biggest gripes is how the “girl boss” era has been demonized. Hard work is what gets you what you want. On the other side of that hard work is every single goal you could possibly imagine. But that doesn’t happen by just coasting along, enjoying yourself, and aiming for balance—especially not in your 20s or 30s.
Put in the work now, so you can reap the rewards later and earn the respect you deserve. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more—wanting it all—and wanting financial security. In fact, I think it’s crazy how, in this country and world today, we actually demonize people who want to create financial stability for their families.
The fact that some people choose to live paycheck to paycheck or refuse to acquire the skills necessary to earn more money is, honestly, selfish. And I don’t want to be selfish. I want to produce, contribute, and be a positive influence on society.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. You just have to ask yourself: What do I really want?
Advice #5: Replace The Imposter Syndrome With Expertise
You can easily overcome imposter syndrome by learning more. When I was 16, I had the most exciting idea. I was coming home from school, and it hit me: What would it be like to have a blog where I helped women understand how to be confident and create leaders? I was going to call it Today’s Work Woman.
I got so excited just visualizing and dreaming about this blog until reality slapped me in the face. Who would listen to me? At 16, I hadn’t created any financial success, I have today. I didn’t have confidence at that point. So, I just shut the door on it and instantly felt imposter syndrome creeping in.
But instead of shutting everything down, I started chipping away at the things I needed to do to eventually create the blog one day.
And guess what? This is the very blog you’re reading right now. This is the impact I want to create. I want to help women generate wealth, live the lives they dream of, and build great relationships with loving families.
At first, I did feel like an imposter because, honestly, I was an imposter—but that’s okay. It wasn’t a bad thing. I hadn’t done what I needed to do yet. So when you start to feel that self-doubt creeping in, when you’re not certain or sure of yourself, pivot that feeling into a question: What do I need to do? What do I need to learn to get to where I’m trying to go?
Whether it’s a blog, an Instagram account, a TikTok, or a YouTube channel you want to create, remember you’ve got something valuable to share with people. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the feeling of being lost for too long, because the more you sit in it, the more it can hold you back.
For example, if you want to launch a YouTube channel, take action. Create a mock-up of your channel—think about potential thumbnails, titles, and banners. Then, invest in getting someone to create these visuals for you. It’ll make your dream start to feel real, and that shift from imposter to I’m creating this will help you step into your power.
There was a gap between where I was and where I was trying to go when I first had the idea to create Today’s Work. A few years ago, I actually created a mock-up of what my blog would look like. It had a beautiful logo, a color scheme… and looking at it now, it feels so cringy and ridiculous. But honestly, it was the starting point of what you’re seeing today.
If I hadn’t put in that work, if I hadn’t created that initial vision, I wouldn’t have had a clear picture of what I was about to build.
Advice #6: You Have To Be As Confident Today, As You Will Be In 10 years
To be successful as a woman in business, you have to have the confidence today that you would have 10 years from now. One of the fastest ways to gain this confidence is by walking that fine line between being decisive—without being a bitch—and being collaborative.
What I see happening often with women in leadership is that they take way too much feedback and try to listen to everyone else in the name of being collaborative. But honestly, they take it too far. They lose sight of their own vision, their own direction.
Think back to me wanting to launch my first blog at 16. If I had been overly collaborative, I might have let others pull me in different directions, and I wouldn’t have stayed true to what I was trying to create.
My husband weighed in on what he thought it should be. My mom, my dad, my friends—they all had ideas about what it should look like.
But eventually, I just said, “Nope, everyone out! This is what I want to create.” And I started taking action to get there.
So yes, feedback can be valuable if you’re seeking specific information, but it’s also important to have confidence in your own position and what you’re trying to do. I would never ask for feedback ahead of time unless that person is the kind of supporter who’s genuinely rooting for you—like the “you go, Glen Coco” type from Mean Girls. If that’s the kind of person you’re getting feedback from, fantastic.
But if you’re looking for approval from someone else, don’t ask for that feedback. You’ll just end up with criticism that can really affect your confidence, especially when you’re trying to create something. It’s not helpful when people are just nitpicking.
But if you already have something established, here’s what I’d recommend: don’t seek external feedback unless you’re specifically looking at stats within your organization.
If your stats are going up—meaning you’re making more money, having a greater impact, and seeing measurable success with your clients—that’s a sign that you’re already creating something successful.
Trust yourself. You’ve got this.
However, if something isn’t going well, if you’ve launched something and it’s not working, or if you’re not moving in the direction you want, this is not the time to ask for collaboration. It’s the time to reassess, fix, and get back on track.
You’re not just having a group brainstorm. You’re looking to specific people who have specific experience, or you’ve asked them to do very intentional research to solve a problem. It’s rare, if not never, that a great idea comes from a group brainstorm on a random set of problems. To be honest with you, that’s how I make decisions about my own brand.
I have my team members who come in and give me all sorts of opinions about what I should do or shouldn’t do. I think it’s fantastic that people have an opinion. That’s awesome. You’re entitled to your opinion.
Do I have to take your opinion and do anything different or feel the weight of that? Absolutely not. Now, I do bring my team in to collaborate on things where I want their opinion. It might be a new project, or it might be a new area that I’m wanting to build upon, that I’m wanting to create. I’m going to ask for that level of collaboration. But it’s not for something where I already have something specific that I’m driving toward, because I can’t get confused.
The more clear you are about what you’re building and what you’re creating, and the more you stick to that, the more confident you’re going to become.
Conclusion
So those are the six pieces of brutally honest advice I would give any woman who wants to succeed in business. I know some of them are harsh, but honestly… this is the truth. I once heard a saying: “If you want something, you need to deserve it first. The world is not yet such a silly place to reward a bunch of undeserving people.”
This is very powerful because it means that any success in life that you want to have—whether in business, relationships, or getting fit and healthy—all of it requires work, and success follows. I’ve heard this so many times from other millionaires.
So please, listen to what I have to say, because I want you too to be successful. I want you to elevate your life to whatever level you desire. But it all starts with a change within yourself.
Let me know in the comments below which harsh truth you’ve learned in life that helped you succeed later. I’m really curious!