I’m sure you’ve seen her, Ladies – the woman who may not be conventionally beautiful, yet her aura and confidence make her undeniably captivating. Men can’t take their eyes off her, and she seems to have every man wrapped around her finger.
How does she do it? Why can’t you? Maybe you’re even more beautiful, but she still grabs all the attention.
It’s all about the energy she emanates – her unshakable confidence that no one can break. It’s her *that woman *attitude, making her incredibly magnetic. This is the true power of a woman: being so confident that no one, not even a man trying to humble her, can make her feel bad about herself. She validates herself, and no one else has the slightest influence on how she views her worth.
That’s her strength – her calm, unbothered energy, self-confidence, and belief that she deserves queen-like treatment. She demands it effortlessly, as if asking for a glass of water.
It’s admirable – and instead of feeling jealous of such women, we should learn from them. Women are often too quick to judge one another, but we should be working together and cheering each other on!
Start doing the inner work, Ladies – you too can embody this energy and claim the treatment you deserve!
1. Make Your Aura Expensive, Like An Hermès Bag.
Let’s talk about how to become *that woman* – the kind of woman with an expensive presence. How can you make your energy and aura feel expensive, so others perceive you as having that same valuable, magnetic presence? When your energy isn’t expensive, you allow people to mistreat you. You might complain about men being bad or acting like clowns, but you’re still buying tickets to the circus. You complain about men being ungenerous, yet you stay with someone who’s stingy. You talk about men mistreating you, but then you accept midnight “Netflix and chill” dates from random men.
By giving your time and energy to someone who doesn’t value you, you’re signaling that you don’t value yourself either. You must be the first to understand that your time and energy are precious. Only then will others start treating you accordingly. Stop accepting the bare minimum when what you really want—and deserve—is princess treatment.
So, how do you become that woman – the one who grabs attention the moment she steps into a room, simply because her presence feels so expensive? I love referring to the femme fatale and those iconic old Hollywood actresses. Whenever they entered a room, you immediately knew who you were dealing with. Their aura, their grace, and their confidence made them unforgettable. It’s all about cultivating that same powerful, magnetic energy that captivates everyone without a word being spoken.
You could immediately sense you were dealing with a woman who had an expensive aura and a commanding presence. It was clear she had standards, and just by her energy, you knew she wasn’t someone you could treat any way you liked. When she enters a room, it’s her confidence that stands out.
So, how can you make people instantly respect you, purely through your energy? How can you make men treat you like an absolute queen, giving you princess treatment without you needing to say a word? It’s all about becoming that woman, the one whose presence and energy naturally command admiration.
!Disclaimer: This is not about looking down on others or having such inflated self-esteem that you treat people poorly. That kind of attitude is far from the loving, feminine energy we want to embody – and frankly, I find it repulsive. All humans are equal, and it’s important to remember that. Most men, at their core, are drawn to kind and genuine women, actually. So, please don’t confuse confidence with arrogance.
2. Don’t Be Always Accessible.
So, ladies, to cultivate a truly expensive presence, it’s essential to remember that not everyone can and should have easy access to you. Think about it – when something is extremely expensive and desirable, like a diamond, a Chanel bag, or a Ferrari, it’s valuable because it’s not accessible to everyone. This rarity is what makes it so special.
You don’t gain access to such treasures easily, and not everyone can have that privilege. Anyone who enters your life should have to meet certain standards before being granted access to your time and energy. Elevate yourself to a level where it feels almost exclusive to be part of your world, making access to your energy a rare and valuable opportunity.
When you see a queen, a beautiful star, a seductress, a fancier Cleopatra, they have this extensive energy. That is why men give them the world. This is why sometimes you can have the same exact men treating a woman like an absolute queen, giving her everything, giving her the princess treatment, and giving another woman the bare minimum.
When you encounter a queen, a beautiful star, or a captivating seductress – like a glamorous Cleopatra – they exude an expansive energy that commands attention. This is why men often go above and beyond for them. It’s fascinating how you can have exactly the same man can treat one woman like royalty and giving her princess treatment, showering her with affection and gifts, while offering another woman only the bare minimum.
3. Take Care Of Yourself & Look Put Together.
Looking put together can significantly boost your confidence. It’s about enhancing your unique features rather than conforming to societal standards of beauty. Here’s a little secret: believe it or not, men are actually attracted to all kinds of women, not just the models we often think about. Every man has his own beauty standard. If you need proof, just take a look around. You’ll easily find examples of handsome and successful men dating women who might be considered average or even unattractive. But that’s a topic for another day! For now, let’s focus on how to become that woman.
Look polished and put together! When you present yourself as elegant and beautiful, it often reflects that you take care of yourself, and most people will treat you better as a result. And we live only one life – don’t you want to be the best version of yourself? Want to know the secrets to looking expensive and feminine on a budget? I recently published a post all about fall fashion—check it out here.
If you don’t have the right energy, it won’t work. Developing that inner energy takes time, and that’s perfectly fine if it doesn’t come naturally at first; however, it can transform how people treat you. So it is all about the inner work that you need to do.
For instance, when people make fun of you – whether it’s relatives, friends, or even a man criticizing you, you know, with those little jokes or jabs – it often stems from their own insecurities and they are trying to undermine your confidence and make your feel miserable. They want to bring you down to their level, because they perceive you as a threat. The key here is how you respond to these situations.
If you respond with a big emotional reaction, it shows that your energy is low; it’s not expensive. You’re giving away your energy for free, just like that. And they certainly don’t deserve it, especially when they treat you poorly. Ideally, people should have to earn your presence and energy. So you need to adjust your attitude, your vibe, or even your outfit.
Changing your outfit can make a significant difference, actually. That’s why I’m always discussing fashion, feminine fashion, Ladies – because it can truly help you cultivate the energy of becoming that woman, allowing you to blossom into your femininity and elevate your confidence. You are that woman on her pedestal. This doesn’t mean you will treat others poorly; rather, it signifies that you possess an inner confidence. Wearing certain types of clothing can evoke a sense of expensive energy and regal presence, elevating how you feel about yourself, especially in the presence of men.
4. Have High Standards.
Men always, always respect women who aren’t easily accessible – like a rare diamond that only a select few can have. It becomes more intriguing, more valuable, something truly worth pursuing. Men need to meet certain standards to gain access to you. I believe men don’t want a woman who says yes to everyone; they appreciate a woman who takes care of herself and doesn’t crave constant attention. A woman who isn’t dating just anyone shows that she has values and high standards, making her much more desirable and respected. She’s not easy to win over, and that’s her strength.
You also have to be intentional about your choices. If you want a man to treat you well, you can’t expect that from someone who isn’t mature, a guy who is still a boy. You can’t date a boy and expect him to behave like a man. The title of “man” is really a title. It is earned through actions, maturity, and responsibility. You can sense when a man is truly masculine – he exudes confidence, protection, and provider energy. He’s ready for a serious relationship, ready to be a husband and have a wife. It’s clear in his demeanor that he’s responsible and fully man, unlike a boy who is still finding his way and building himself up. That’s why a boy won’t understand or respect your standards. He’ll likely complain or push back because he’s not on the same level.
Everyone’s standards are different, so I can’t tell you exactly what yours should be, but it’s essential to have firm boundaries in place. Those boundaries need to be strong and fully embraced within you, not just in words but in your actions and energy. When you embody your boundaries, others will feel them and respect them naturally.
5. Evolving Into A Womanhood & Boundaries.
I believe your 20s are the time when you grow the most as a woman. It’s when you truly bloom and start to define yourself, including learning to set and apply boundaries. Sometimes, I’ve found that I had boundaries in my mind, thinking, “No, they need to meet this or that standard,” but I wouldn’t actually apply them. Those boundaries need to be ingrained, so that when a situation arises, you don’t hesitate – you feel it in your core and can walk away without letting yourself fall for someone who doesn’t meet your standards.
I think it is the hardest part – getting those boundaries ingrained so deeply that they become second nature. It does take time and inner work, often involving some tough experiences along the way. But I promise you, once you truly embrace those firm boundaries, everything changes. People start to respect you more, and your presence naturally feels more valuable. Those boundaries not only protect your energy but also elevate how others see and treat you.
I’m not saying you should go around yelling, “That’s my boundary!” at people. It’s not about announcing it- it’s about embodying it. Your boundaries should be so deeply ingrained in you that others naturally understand them without you having to say a word. If it helps, write them down. Putting them in writing can serve as a reminder: “No, this is not what I’m supposed to tolerate.” It keeps you accountable and strengthens your relationship with yourself, making it easier to stick to your values and protect your energy.
For example, I don’t want men to call me after a certain hour, because that’s my time to unwind and go to bed. They can’t just call me whenever it suits them – they need to respect my time. Or, another boundary: I won’t accept a date from a man who asks me last minute or shows inconsistency. If I haven’t heard from him for two weeks and then he suddenly reappears, I won’t respond. No, if you come back, I’m not responding to you. It’s about setting standards and making it clear that your time and energy are valuable, and they must be treated as such.
Exactly, those are firm boundaries, and the key is to apply them consistently. Ladies, don’t respond to men who ghost you. In most cases, they just want attention and to check if you still like them, asking themselves, “Is she still into me?” No, you’re not. Your energy is valuable, and they need to earn the right to have access to it. You can still be pleasant, feminine, fun, and lighthearted, but at the same time, true feminine energy includes boundaries. It’s about being warm and flowing, but also knowing where to draw the line.
The feminine energy also includes firm boundaries, and it’s about confidently saying, “No, I’m not available for that.” When you establish those boundaries, men will respect you more for it. Men want to feel like they’ve earned your love and enjoy the role of providing for you. So let them compete for your attention and understand that having access to you is a privilege, not something that comes easily.
6. Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin.
You can find women who are absolutely stunning yet incredibly insecure, which can make them less attractive. Conversely, there are women who may not fit traditional standards of beauty, but their attitude and presence make them feel expensive. Take Cleopatra, for instance – she wasn’t universally regarded as extremely beautiful, but it was her charm, confidence, and magnetic aura that truly captivated those around her.
She has that elusive “je ne sais quoi,” a French expression that captures an indescribable aura. It refers to that special quality that draws people in, leaving them intrigued and fascinated by her presence. You may not be able to pinpoint exactly why she is so magnetic, but you can feel the pull. It’s that enchanting quality that makes men and others alike feel captivated by her. The phrase translates to “I don’t know,” suggesting that her charm is beyond words, that she has an enchanting essence that is both captivating and irresistible.
A woman who is comfortable in her own skin exudes a powerful confidence that makes it nearly impossible for anyone to make her feel inferior. She embodies the ultimate strength of a woman who knows her worth and stands firm in her identity. If a man attempts to humble her, she simply replies, “No, that’s not true. I know who I am.” Her self-assurance is unshakeable, allowing her to rise above any attempts to undermine her.
It’s impossible to make you feel bad about yourself, which is why men are irresistibly drawn to women like that. There’s a challenge in trying to “tame” her; men are often challenge-oriented. When things come too easily, they lose interest quickly. It’s the mystery and allure of figuring out how to access her heart that makes her captivating. This element of intrigue keeps them engaged and eager to explore the depths of her personality.
I always talk about the importance of mystery, and now you can see why. Her aura communicates that she doesn’t desperately need him or allow him to get under her skin. This is the essence of that unbothered energy, which is incredibly alluring. It signals confidence and self-sufficiency, making her all the more intriguing. When she remains enigmatic and self-assured, she captures attention without trying too hard, drawing others in with her effortless charm.
“Je ne sais quoi” is like a sexy devil; it’s all about the attitude. Oh, I love that phrase! Ladies, when you embody this energy, you’re tapping into the essence of the femme fatale or the siren. They all possess this captivating energy that men crave. Ooh, that’s the secret sauce! It’s that enchanting aura of exclusivity and allure that makes you unforgettable. Embrace it, and watch as you draw people in with your magnetic presence.
If this energy doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry! You don’t need to embody the femme fatale all the time. In fact, it’s often best to be the feminine, kind, and cute lady. However, there are moments when you should tap into that femme fatale energy. Above all, maintain your inner confidence. No matter what, know who you are. Channeling your inner siren or sexy femme fatale from time to time is incredibly magnetic. It’s alluring, risky, and intriguing – something men can’t quite put their finger on. And trust me, they crave that energy; it’s like a drug to them!