Most people don’t know how to introduce people anymore.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, and I don’t want to make it awkward.”
So, either they don’t introduce people at all and everyone stands around awkwardly, or they introduce them like this:
“Anna, this is Marco. Marco, this is Anna.”
But here’s the thing: there is a much better way to introduce people.
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A better introduction would be:
“Anna, may I introduce you to Marco? Marco recently moved to the US and is really interested in painting. Marco, this is Anna. She’s been living in the US for several years and works as a doctor.”
But do you know why?
And what are the rules?
In 8 minutes, you’ll know exactly what to do.
I love etiquette and have been studying it since I was a little girl. But I know you’re busy, and that’s why I made this guide so compact.
You can read it and move on with your day.
But here’s the value you’ll gain: no more awkwardness when you need to introduce new people.
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The Etiquette Rules for the Order of Introduction
1st Order of Introduction: The Less Senior Person to the More Senior Person
The person of lower status is introduced to the person of higher status.
For example, an employee → a CEO, a junior executive → a director, or a vice president → a president.
It is pretty intuitive.
However, it’s good to know this rule because not everyone actually follows it. This way, you can avoid coming across as less elegant, or perhaps even creating an awkward situation or making someone feel uncomfortable.
So, imagine there is a president and a vice president of a country. You would say:
“Mr. President, may I please introduce Mr. Vice President?”
Or, if there is a CEO and a director, you would introduce the less senior person to the more senior person first.
And that’s it! A very simple rule, but one that can make your introductions feel much more polished and elegant.
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2nd Order of Introduction: The Younger Person to the Older Person
So, the second order of introduction is when the younger person is introduced to the older person.
For example, you bring your boyfriend to a family dinner, and your grandma or grandfather is there. You would say:
“Grandma, may I please introduce Thomas, my boyfriend?”
By the way, “May I please introduce you to…” is a correct and polite way to introduce people in English.
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3rd Order of Introduction: Women First
The third order of introduction is: if everyone has the same status, you introduce women first.
So, imagine you’re in a group — let’s say, at a family or corporate meeting — and everyone actually has the same status. In that case, you would introduce people to the women first.
So, let’s say, for example:
“Anna, may I please introduce Marco to you?”
Interesting fact: you know, a few years ago, women were traditionally introduced first, but this is no longer necessarily the case.
Because etiquette, for me, is unfortunately becoming less and less gender-focused and more gender-neutral.
4. Don’t Just Exchange Names — Give Them Something to Talk About
This is a very common way that people introduce other people. There is nothing wrong with it.
But here’s the thing: there is a better way to introduce people.
So, most people would say:
“Anna, may I please introduce you to Marco? Marco, may I please introduce you to Anna?”
But the thing is, you want to say something interesting about the person in order to give them some common ground — like a conversation starter.
For example, you could say:
“Anna, may I please introduce you to Marco? Marco recently moved to the United States, and he’s really interested in painting. And Marco, this is Anna. Anna has been living in the U.S. for a few years, and she works as a doctor.”
Because if you need to leave them, it avoids that awkward start of, “Okay, so what are we talking about?”
And this is actually one of the nicest things you can do when introducing people: don’t just connect their names — connect their interests.
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Introducing Someone to a Group
When introducing someone to a group, you introduce the more VIP person first.
So, imagine there is a group of your coworkers, and among them is, let’s say, a director or a CEO. Let’s say the director’s name is Nathan.
You would say:
“Nathan, may I please introduce Alice, Emily, and Charlotte?”
This is the proper way to introduce someone to a group.
How to Greet Someone
The Safest Way: The Handshake
Of course, etiquette is a very broad subject, but in the Western world, one of the safest and most appropriate ways to greet someone when you’re introduced to them, or when you’re introducing yourself, is with a handshake.
However, here are the rules: The handshake should be:
- right hand to right hand,
- at about a 30-degree angle,
- web to web, so that you can meet the other person’s hand in a comfortable and natural way.
Many years ago, women were taught to have a more feminine and weaker handshake.
If you’re in a romantic setting, you can still apply this rule to show your feminine side.
However, if you’re in a corporate setting, I would not recommend giving a very weak handshake because it can make you appear weaker or less competent.
I was once at a meeting for women in corporations, focused on how to be successful as a woman in the corporate world.
And I remember this woman, who was actually the host of the event, would test the handshake of every woman who was there. And she was like, “No, no dead fish handshake. Proper handshake! You want to show that you’re competent and confident.”
Another Handshake Rule: The Second Hand
Sometimes you may see that when people shake hands, one person places their other hand on top of the other person’s hand. And you may think, “Oh, it’s a sign of warmth. It’s a warm gesture.”
But here’s the truth: it is a sign of power.
You can sometimes see this with politicians. If you didn’t know, depending on the angle from which a photo is taken, the person who appears more powerful is the one whose palm or the outside of their hand is more visible to the camera.
So, in order to counter this, some politicians may place their other hand on top of the hands that are shaking, creating a two-handed handshake. This can be used to communicate power or dominance.
So, I wouldn’t recommend doing this in a social setting.
How Many Times Should You Pump a Handshake?
You would typically shake hands:
- twice in a business setting,
- three times in a social setting, such as with family or friends.
However, if you meet someone who keeps pumping and shaking your hand for what feels like forever, you don’t want to stop abruptly in the middle of the handshake, because it may make the other person feel awkward.
Instead, just wait until the person is finished.
The Air Kiss
This is more of a social way of greeting someone, rather than a formal one, and it’s usually reserved for friends, acquaintances, or social situations where this type of greeting is customary.
But here are the rules of the air kiss: you actually don’t touch the other person’s cheek with your lips. Never.
Instead, you touch cheek to cheek, while giving a little kiss into the air. It’s almost like a fake kiss.
You don’t make any noises or weird kissing sounds, and you don’t want to make it awkward.
And, of course, the customs around air kisses can vary quite a lot from country to country. In some countries, two kisses are common, while in others, people may give three. Sometimes, people even start with a different cheek.
And another thing about the air kiss: when you’re leaning in, you don’t want to just lean in awkwardly.
What you want to do is place your right hand on the other person’s right elbow or forearm. This will help you determine whether there is another kiss coming, because you can feel the other person’s body language a little bit better.
Kissing on the Cheek or Hugging
These types of greetings are usually reserved for very close friends or family, and they can involve a simple kiss on the cheek, a warm hug, or both.
I would never use it with acquaintances or in a business setting, because it would not be appropriate.
But, of course, again, customs vary by country. And I think this is another thing that is fascinating about etiquette: the customs can be so different from one country to another.
